Mientras yo te perdía

Mientras yo te perdía

Mientras yo te perdía en mi cuerpo

  Y el frío que desprende de el sol caliente, debajo de las sombras oscuras de mi cuerpo, no lograron enfriar las calidades de mis pechos.

Y decidí detener un instante y le observe ahí sentado, desprendido, desgarrado y más ausente que nunca, no sé cuánto tiempo han pasado, pero por lo invisible de sus miradas supongo que suficiente para no  notar mi insignificante  presencia. Siento,  como  su indiferencia  va calando en mis piernas y va penetrando en mis entrañas, sé que le puedo detener, sé que me puedo volver nula y permanecer ahí más sola y más ausente;  pero no puedo evitarle, su  voz ronca limita mi presencia y va rompiendo los espacios oscuros de mi mente, 

y va poco a poco  adueñándose de mi cuerpo.


Quería acercarme a él

 Llorar en su espalda, y decirle que en realidad lo necesitaba.

  Y que los instantes fuera de su cuerpo ya me habían marcado el alma.

¡Quería decirle,  que le pertenecía!

Pero la voz fuerte abofeteó mis argumento, le recordó a mi instancia todos mis estúpidos ideales.  Y en mi mente desfilaban todos mis miedos, y me reprochaban todos esos ocultos deseos. Otra vez la imagen de un ser insignificante retumbó en mi cabeza. Esa voz fuerte no iba dejar que me le acercara a  su mesa.


¡Le estaba perdiendo, mientras me desvanecía desde adentro!

Estaba perdiendo la noción de su cuerpo

El frío quemante se adueña del espacio y él sigue perdido en los desdenes de su pensamiento, no imagino lo que siente o piensa. Pero la voz fuerte dentro de mi cabeza se ríe de mí.  Por más que quiero aun no lo detengo, no lo puedo detener.

y él se me va desvaneciendo, su figura se volvió ininteligible, yo estaba paralizada mientras perdía la noción de su ser.

Desgarraba mi cuerpo desde adentro.

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